Generation

Next month, will be the fourth year my father has passed away.
This year, my little brother get married.
Last year, i finally decided to change job, and managed to actually did it.
The future? I don't know, it still seam bleak to me.

This last four year, I've been holding up my self together.
Not so bad, but not so well either.
Done many mistakes, lots of horrible thing, yet still being the good kid i was raised.

No matter how hard you try fighting it, the pain will always changed you.
Every one that gone through it will feel it, but wouldn't talk about it.
That death, will always leave an empty space.

Through this time, I've seen friends of my fathers passed away. Some become very weak, lost weight, and some even lost the sparkle in their eyes. That sparkle of life, that prove that you are part of the living thing in this world.

Its the world nature, to change the generation that run out of time with the next one. But seeing the process, watching the people, the polite conversation with the one that wait for their time, always makes you wonder. Is nature always this cruel? People easily drop in to despair. Empty gaze, broken memories, busy children, what could they hold on to ?

It hurt to watch the people that you respect in that kind of situation. I guess thats why the wisest creature that walk on land tend to leave his/her heard when the time has come. The world is kind this time, to guide the creature to the cave of ivory palace. A place that no man would ever found, to rest and leave the world with a smile. Leaving the young ones with memory of their strong back and flapping big ears as they walk down that path.

What can i do ? As i watch this all gone through. Its my time to become the current generation. And yet i always look back to the previous generation. Hoping that i would find a way, to erase their empty gaze and guide them on a way to a smile.