One of those night.
The one when i got home really2 tired. Morning through the evening, all of the activity. Changed my clothes, hit the bed, and left the earth.
Woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn't close my eyes till morning comes. Great, i guess to kill time, I'll just write everything that comes up in my mind.
--
Two weeks ago, my peer has become a father (Congrats again di :) ). One week before the baby girl is born, he come up to us (his colleague around the desk) and asks us if we have any idea for the baby girl name. We came up with lots of crazy idea like Oriza Sativa ....di, Nana Miyabi ....di, Eceng Gondok Sejahtera (okay the last one sound more like a company name than a child name, a crazy company name if i may say so :P), etc. Instead of helping , we have one of the most fun time in the office for the last couple of months :D. And luckily none of the name got through, because even though the name rhyme with his last name. No parent is crazy enough to name his daughter like that :P
The name fiasco already past, the girl has her name, a well deserved one :). But between those day and today i come up with a name, but didn't manage to tell about it.
Its, Airen Aida Nur.
Aida means Atas Ikhtiar dan Asa, roughly translated to hope with lots effort and hardwork. Nur means cahaya, light. So, aida nur can be translated to a light of hope. I guess its a pretty good name, especially for us that think that a name is equal to a prayer. And a baby girl will be happy with this kind of name :)
What about airen ? Well, i put it because it rhyme with the rest, we'll think some meaning for it later :P
Sunday, May 4, 2008
What's wrong with Telkomsel
Sudah dua hari ini gw kelimpungan, aplikasi gw gak bisa running di hp k750. Ngeliat error-nya gak ngerti. Udah coba retrace dari awal lagi. Sepertinya gak ada yang salah. Gw coba di jalanin di n6120 classic jalan baik aja. Stree, frustasi akhirnya give up.
Tadi pagi baru tahu sepertinya yang bermasalah telkomselnya, tiap request gprs untuk alamat2 yang 'kurang dikenal' di redirect. God, please. Udah begitu banyak masalah didunia saat ini, Global Warming, Krisis Pangan, harga BBM. Gak perlu di tambah masalah yang gak penting kayak gini.
Screw you T-Sel.
...edit...
Setelah 1 minggu akhirnya bisa. Mungkin karena masalah dns di T-Sel, mungkin terjadi perubahan sehingga resolvenya belum ke refresh. Untung gak pake deadline-deadline-an jadi dengan sabar menunggu aja bisa selesai masalahnya.
Tadi pagi baru tahu sepertinya yang bermasalah telkomselnya, tiap request gprs untuk alamat2 yang 'kurang dikenal' di redirect. God, please. Udah begitu banyak masalah didunia saat ini, Global Warming, Krisis Pangan, harga BBM. Gak perlu di tambah masalah yang gak penting kayak gini.
Screw you T-Sel.
...edit...
Setelah 1 minggu akhirnya bisa. Mungkin karena masalah dns di T-Sel, mungkin terjadi perubahan sehingga resolvenya belum ke refresh. Untung gak pake deadline-deadline-an jadi dengan sabar menunggu aja bisa selesai masalahnya.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
A Child
In my life, I've spent may conversation arguing with people about love, marriage and family. I got this perfect image of how i would treat my family. Love my wife and never looked any other girl, took care of my kids. And even after the mother of my child has gone, i wouldn't think about finding another woman.
But there was a big turn around in my life. A point where i gamble it all, my belief, my dream, and my hope. I think, This is it. The moment that I've been waiting for many years. All i got to do is be brave, be a man.
I've should have known, i never been good with gambling. I should have never gamble, especially not with life. Now i know why people always saying how life is unfair, that is because it cheats when you gamble with it.
So i lose, i lose big time.
Years has passed since that day. Many things happen, things that make me stronger and softer. But that things also makes me different. Now I'm totally scared, I can't be a father. I can't yell at my kids. I can't look them in the eyes and ground them, for mistakes they made. Knowing that i made the same mistake years a go. I can't even took care of my brothers :(
Now I'm so lost, lost from my way. I'm no good, I'm not family material. All i can do is bear my responsibilities given to me. And if i do that all my life and while not being happy. What kind of monster would i become ?
Kids can't live with a monster.
But there was a big turn around in my life. A point where i gamble it all, my belief, my dream, and my hope. I think, This is it. The moment that I've been waiting for many years. All i got to do is be brave, be a man.
I've should have known, i never been good with gambling. I should have never gamble, especially not with life. Now i know why people always saying how life is unfair, that is because it cheats when you gamble with it.
So i lose, i lose big time.
Years has passed since that day. Many things happen, things that make me stronger and softer. But that things also makes me different. Now I'm totally scared, I can't be a father. I can't yell at my kids. I can't look them in the eyes and ground them, for mistakes they made. Knowing that i made the same mistake years a go. I can't even took care of my brothers :(
Now I'm so lost, lost from my way. I'm no good, I'm not family material. All i can do is bear my responsibilities given to me. And if i do that all my life and while not being happy. What kind of monster would i become ?
Kids can't live with a monster.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Generation
Next month, will be the fourth year my father has passed away.
This year, my little brother get married.
Last year, i finally decided to change job, and managed to actually did it.
The future? I don't know, it still seam bleak to me.
This last four year, I've been holding up my self together.
Not so bad, but not so well either.
Done many mistakes, lots of horrible thing, yet still being the good kid i was raised.
No matter how hard you try fighting it, the pain will always changed you.
Every one that gone through it will feel it, but wouldn't talk about it.
That death, will always leave an empty space.
Through this time, I've seen friends of my fathers passed away. Some become very weak, lost weight, and some even lost the sparkle in their eyes. That sparkle of life, that prove that you are part of the living thing in this world.
Its the world nature, to change the generation that run out of time with the next one. But seeing the process, watching the people, the polite conversation with the one that wait for their time, always makes you wonder. Is nature always this cruel? People easily drop in to despair. Empty gaze, broken memories, busy children, what could they hold on to ?
It hurt to watch the people that you respect in that kind of situation. I guess thats why the wisest creature that walk on land tend to leave his/her heard when the time has come. The world is kind this time, to guide the creature to the cave of ivory palace. A place that no man would ever found, to rest and leave the world with a smile. Leaving the young ones with memory of their strong back and flapping big ears as they walk down that path.
What can i do ? As i watch this all gone through. Its my time to become the current generation. And yet i always look back to the previous generation. Hoping that i would find a way, to erase their empty gaze and guide them on a way to a smile.
This year, my little brother get married.
Last year, i finally decided to change job, and managed to actually did it.
The future? I don't know, it still seam bleak to me.
This last four year, I've been holding up my self together.
Not so bad, but not so well either.
Done many mistakes, lots of horrible thing, yet still being the good kid i was raised.
No matter how hard you try fighting it, the pain will always changed you.
Every one that gone through it will feel it, but wouldn't talk about it.
That death, will always leave an empty space.
Through this time, I've seen friends of my fathers passed away. Some become very weak, lost weight, and some even lost the sparkle in their eyes. That sparkle of life, that prove that you are part of the living thing in this world.
Its the world nature, to change the generation that run out of time with the next one. But seeing the process, watching the people, the polite conversation with the one that wait for their time, always makes you wonder. Is nature always this cruel? People easily drop in to despair. Empty gaze, broken memories, busy children, what could they hold on to ?
It hurt to watch the people that you respect in that kind of situation. I guess thats why the wisest creature that walk on land tend to leave his/her heard when the time has come. The world is kind this time, to guide the creature to the cave of ivory palace. A place that no man would ever found, to rest and leave the world with a smile. Leaving the young ones with memory of their strong back and flapping big ears as they walk down that path.
What can i do ? As i watch this all gone through. Its my time to become the current generation. And yet i always look back to the previous generation. Hoping that i would find a way, to erase their empty gaze and guide them on a way to a smile.
Wish
I Made a wish today,
and pray to the one that know the current, the past and the future.
To open up my locked heart.
Now that part of my responsibilities is over,
withhold my ambition a little, start thinking,
and draw my gaze from the distance future.
And give the one that reach out to me a little chance.
I pray again, that a little bit of freedom that i would give away. Would give a lot of happiness to my family, the people around me, and specially to the side of me that waiting patiently for the last twenty eight year. And gather the strength to look the person in front of me, for who she really is.
and pray to the one that know the current, the past and the future.
To open up my locked heart.
Now that part of my responsibilities is over,
withhold my ambition a little, start thinking,
and draw my gaze from the distance future.
And give the one that reach out to me a little chance.
I pray again, that a little bit of freedom that i would give away. Would give a lot of happiness to my family, the people around me, and specially to the side of me that waiting patiently for the last twenty eight year. And gather the strength to look the person in front of me, for who she really is.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The speed of the clouds
Lagi bengong, ngeliat keluar jendela di lantai 11. Ngeliat awan gelap penuh berisi air melintas diatas gedung-gedung bertingkat dijakarta. Kebetulan langit sedang cerah, jadinya kontras. Deadly but yet beutiful.
Lalu terpikir, seberapa cepat sih mereka terbang melintas. Sehingga secara kasat mata bisa terlihat pergerakan mereka. Kita yang dibumi dihari-hari biasa melihat mereka tidak bergeming, bergelantungan di langit.
Ada apa dengan hari ini, kenapa mereka begitu tergesa-gesa menuju ketujuannya ?
*ok, not deadly, just troublesome:)*
Lalu terpikir, seberapa cepat sih mereka terbang melintas. Sehingga secara kasat mata bisa terlihat pergerakan mereka. Kita yang dibumi dihari-hari biasa melihat mereka tidak bergeming, bergelantungan di langit.
Ada apa dengan hari ini, kenapa mereka begitu tergesa-gesa menuju ketujuannya ?
*ok, not deadly, just troublesome:)*
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
10 km/jam
Dulu sutiyoso pernah bilang, tahun 2010 dengan pertumbuhan tingkat kendaraan seperti ini. Diperkirakan kecepatan maksimum kendaraan di jakarta hanya 10 km/jam. Dengan dasar hasil analisa inilah, mega proyek transjakarta yang menghebohkan itu dimulai.
Rupanya gubernur kita yang sekarang ini ternyata lebih hebat dari gubernur yang digantikannya. Gak perlu sampai menunggu 2010, gubernur kita ini dengan sukses lebih cepat 2 tahun untuk mencapai hal itu.
Cukup dengan hujan gerimis, genangan air timbul dimana-mana, ditambah proyek infrastruktur yang gak selesai-selesai yang memakan badan jalan. Dengan sukses memaksa kendaraan dijakarta untuk memenuhi target itu.
Dan seakan itu tidak cukup. Disaat hari tak hujan pun, jalan yang bergelombang seperti ombak dilautan. Kerikil-kerikil yang bercerai dengan aspal di jalan-jalan protokol. Dilengkapi dengan tokoh utama lubang-lubang besar yang menganga, menanti waktu hujan berikutnya. Dengan sukses membuat kendaraan melambat setiap kali melewati jalan-jalan itu.
Nice, Great, Amazing !
Secara gubernur ini terpilih karena janji-janjinya dia untuk membenahi pemda dki dalam 100 hari, dan gelarnya sebagai ahli yang paling mengerti tata kota dan banjir. Sampai saat ini, belum ada satupun janji-janjinya yang terpenuhi.
So..
Nice, Great, Amazing !
I laugh about it so hard in my head, that my IQ dropped 40 point.
Remember I'm watching, and holding on to your promises. Or Else !!!
*duh bisa apa sih gw, sok ngancem segala*
Rupanya gubernur kita yang sekarang ini ternyata lebih hebat dari gubernur yang digantikannya. Gak perlu sampai menunggu 2010, gubernur kita ini dengan sukses lebih cepat 2 tahun untuk mencapai hal itu.
Cukup dengan hujan gerimis, genangan air timbul dimana-mana, ditambah proyek infrastruktur yang gak selesai-selesai yang memakan badan jalan. Dengan sukses memaksa kendaraan dijakarta untuk memenuhi target itu.
Dan seakan itu tidak cukup. Disaat hari tak hujan pun, jalan yang bergelombang seperti ombak dilautan. Kerikil-kerikil yang bercerai dengan aspal di jalan-jalan protokol. Dilengkapi dengan tokoh utama lubang-lubang besar yang menganga, menanti waktu hujan berikutnya. Dengan sukses membuat kendaraan melambat setiap kali melewati jalan-jalan itu.
Nice, Great, Amazing !
Secara gubernur ini terpilih karena janji-janjinya dia untuk membenahi pemda dki dalam 100 hari, dan gelarnya sebagai ahli yang paling mengerti tata kota dan banjir. Sampai saat ini, belum ada satupun janji-janjinya yang terpenuhi.
So..
Nice, Great, Amazing !
I laugh about it so hard in my head, that my IQ dropped 40 point.
Remember I'm watching, and holding on to your promises. Or Else !!!
*duh bisa apa sih gw, sok ngancem segala*
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