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Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Arrivals

I've got 4 days holiday from the 21'st, so I've got lots of free time, lots. There were some plan I've made prior to the holiday, but it turn out i was suck by this series.

I've got it from another source, but you can find the complete list at the http://www.rapidshare.com/users/CEG2E or go to the www.wakeupproject.com.

I don't expect people to believe this as the only truth, even me view it with lots of skepticism. But even though i don't expect people to see it as the only truth, I'm praying that they can at least see it as a possibility of the truth.

And this series has given me some insight of some of the action that i want to take :
- Be moderate, not following any extreme view, while preparing my self with knowledge
- Finding more info about new Free Energy and to duplicate it in my own life
- Gradually try to be come less dependent to the system
- Finding way that only good people would lead us, not the people that has been corrupted by the system
- And lastly the more realistic and greatly impact my life. Not continuing my work to the new office. Since if i follow that path, there's only one future that i can see. My self getting deeper-and-deeper drag to the trap of the materialism of this world.

Its time to wake up.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Goodbye

12.01 ...

baru saja selesai menonton ending scrubs, setelah 8 tahun. Jadi teringat waktu terakhir kali nonton friends. I'm always a sucker for this kind of things. Its hard to say goodbye to things that you really love, especially the things that could make you laugh when ever you're feeling down.

Jadi teringat waktu harus mengucapkan perpisahan, sd, smp, sma (one of the hardest, they say high school is the best time of our life), and then college. And after that, its all about work.

Waktu pertama kali harus pindah, memang menakutkan, tetapi itu karena pengalaman pertama. Dan juga begitu banyak kekhawatiran tentang apa sesudah ini, bagaimana masa depan yang menanti di luar sana. Would it be kind ? Or does it gonna make me into somebody i didn't like.

Dan tempat kerja sebelum sekarang, walaupun begitu berat untuk meninggalkan lingkungan yang begitu menyenangkan. Tetapi rasa sedih tidak terlalu terasa, karena gw tahu setiap kali ingin berkunjung, they welcome me anytime, and besides its only across the streets from my current workplace.

Suatu saat gw pasti meninggalkan tempat kerja yang sekarang. Tetapi sudah jelas, saat yang paling berat adalah saat meninggalkan tempat kerja sebelum tempat kerja sebelum ini. Kantor pertama setelah lulus.

Tiga tahun, walaupun teman-teman yang lain sudah lebih dulu pergi dan gw staff terakhir yang berhenti. Tetapi tetap saja, hari terakhir gw ada disana, gw tinggal hingga malam. Mengenang hari-hari yang gw lalui di setiap suduk kantor itu. I even take pictures of the empty office.

So ... gw gak bisa membayangkan bagaimana rasanya harus mengucapkan perpisahan setelah bekerja bersama-sama setelah 8 tahun. But all things have to come to an end, even good things :)

Dan mengingat satu lagi perpisahan yang masih menghantui gw. Dua hari lalu adalah peringatan 5 tahun meninggalnya bokap gw. Damn! untuk menulis satu kalimat itu aja beratnya minta ampun. Entah kenapa tahun ini nyokap gak ngajak ke makam, walaupun sempat disinggung sebentar waktu ngobrol. Mungkin karena ngeliat gw cape dengan kerjaan kantor, adik-adik gw juga sedang gak ada di rumah.

Mereka bilang semua akan berlalu seiring waktu. Gw gak tahu, mungkin 5 tahun bukanlah waktu yang cukup untuk perpisahan seperti ini. Walaupun gw orang yang memiliki harga diri tinggi untuk selalu menyelesaikan masalah sendiri. Nilai yang tertanam dalam diri gw semenjak kecil. Tetapi kehilangan seseorang yang walaupun tidak berkata apa-apa, but you know, if you ask, he will be there.

Satu tonggak yang bisa terlihat dimanapun gw berada. Truly, the future seems so dark and scary after he's gone. I'm so scared of goodbye and getting hurt, so I've been preparing my self to live life like zombies. But all of this reminiscing make me read this blog all over again. And little bit here and there I see changes in me. So even though I'm barely hanging on now.
I promise..... one day, one day ....

I will be alright.