2010 resolution

Okay, today seems as good as any day for creating my resolution.

2009
kalau melihat resolusi gw tahun lalu, sebenarnya tidak banyak. Memang gw begitu orangnya, lebih menyenangi hal-hal yang tidak perlu terlalu pusing untuk direncanakan.

Nah terkait resolusi itu, sebetulnya disana ada 4 item. Tetapi ternyata dengan jumlah sedikit itu bukan berarti semuanya bisa tercapai dengan mudah.

• release product - not happening, sepertinya gw dan teman2 benar sudah tersita dengan pekerjaan
• menulis buku - hanya 1 chapter :P Jadi nasibnya sama saja
• beli tanah - hm... sepertinya sih sertifikatnya tahun ini, walaupun nyicilnya udah lama. So, yes. One point :P
• pre-wed - defitely not :P

Tapi di luar itu banyak hal-hal yang terjadi di tahun ini :

• Akhirnya mulai sedikit beradaptasi dengan lingkungan kantor. Tidak mudah, a lot of hardwork. Banyak teman-teman baru, dan rutin berolahraga kembali (futsal dan bulutangkis)
• Pergi ke tempat-tempat baru, karena pekerjaan sih. Ke malang bersama Telkomsel untuk workshop MySQL, ke Balicamp di daerah pegunungan bali lupa namanya , berbagai perkantoran baru di jakarta karena disuruh presentasi :P Yes, I'm a full fledged Traveler now :)
• Turning 30 :D
• Beli handphone Android pertama gw di akhir oktober, HTC Hero

Dan banyak hal lain yang mungkin kalau coba diingat secara detil saat ini, tidak akan teringat. Tetapi hal-hal kecil itu banyak membawa pengaruh ke diri gw. Secara keseluruhan tahun ini begitu melelahkan. Mungkin disebabkan oleh adaptasi yang akhirnya mulai berhasil. Dan kerja keras karena kekurangan orang dikantor.

Yang jelas begitu banyak yang gw rasa, begitu banyak frustasi yang terlewatkan. 2009 hampir berlalu, dan gw berterimakasih. Karena di tahun ini, gw merasa tumbuh dengan cepat. Mendobrak beberapa tembok yang menghalangi gw selama beberapa tahun terakhir. Sekarang saatnya untuk melihat ke depan ! :)

2010
Hm... hal-hal yang ingin gw lakukan di tahun depan.

• Setidaknya ada satu project dikantor yang bisa gw selesaikan dengan Sukses. Entah itu MySQL Cluster atau OpenESB
• Menjalankan rencana bisnis untuk stiker/printing/baju
• Saat ini ada tiga ide yang sedang jadi pusat pemikiran gw. GMaps, ERP dan Android Games. Mudah-mudahan bisa fokus dan salah satu dari tiga hal ini bisa di release
• Di januari ini pengumuman mengenai merger sudah final. Mudah-mudahan dapat memutuskan, di antara komit untuk menamatkan masa pembelajaran dalam dua tahun. Atau berusaha mengambil jalur entrepreneur jika diberikan kesempatan
• Memperbaiki kemampuan menulis :)
• Memperdalam ilmu agama dan ekonomi. Atau setidaknya konsisten menjalankan proyek malam jum'at gw :)
• Mempunyai tempat sendiri. Pilihan gw untuk tinggal di rumah adalah untuk menemani nyokap dan adik gw. Tetapi ini ide untuk kembali menjadi independen mulai menemukan jalannya. Yah kalau tanggung jawab itu sudah bisa sedikit dilepas. Ada kemungkinan I'm going to move out. Just wait and see

Last but not least. Selama ini gw hanya kenal satu cara. Kalau merasa tidak mampu, atau ada hal yang kurang, tempatkan diri dimana terpaksa untuk menghadapi hal tersebut. Sesuatu yang berguna pasti keluar dari kondisi tersebut. Well, setidaknya tahu mengenai batas diri.

Pendekatan itu yang banyak gw pergunakan... untuk urusan kantor. Tahun depan, gw mencoba membawa prinsip itu ke kehidupan pribadi gw. Sudah dapat bantuan dari seorang teman, sedikit gila dan ber-resiko. Hasilnya akan gw ceritakan di akhir tahun 2010 nanti, tunggu saja beritanya !

:)

3 liburan panjang

Tahun ini ada 3 liburan panjang di weekend akhir menjelang tutup tahun. Lumayan, jadi sempat aktualisasi diri :)

Kalau minggu kemarin gw sempat ngelanjutin explorasi GMap dengan tapestry. Di minggu ini belajar mengenai ERP secara keseluruhan. Buka-buka catatan di perusahaan lama, liat-liat accounting system lagi. Memang bidang ini terlalu luas banget, so much to learn.

Belum tahu effort ini akan menuju apa. Mudah-mudahan ada segmen middle market yang bisa dimasukin. Tetapi untuk bisa masuk, butuh persiapan yang cukup dan sebuah strategy. Alhasil minggu ini targetnya riset dan strategy planning.

Supaya bisa obyektif gak boleh membaca dari 1 sumber saja. Setidaknya 3 sumber, tetapi berhubung keterbatasan waktu dan sudah punya background sebelumnya 2 should suffice. This One source is the best. Simple yet accurate. Sekarang setelah membaca semua informasi itu, bikin coret-coretan, tinggal bagaimana menuangkannya ke sebuah dokumen yang terstruktur dengan baik :) Gonna gain a lot of thing from this :)

Hm.. minggu depan mungkin oprek-oprek bikin aplikasi di android. Atau lanjut bikin prototype kecil2an. Sepertinya gak fokus banget yah :) Tapi namanya juga aktualisasi diri. Melepaskan hal-hal yang selama ini mengganjal. Ingin dibuat tapi gak bisa karena kerjaan kantor yang gila-gilaan. Well if one of this gonna turn into a 'thing' in the future, I'm gonna be more than satisfied. For now, my reward is My Piece of mind and pleasure of having the time to what I really want. Live should be always like this :)

Cheerio

Tapestry 5 and Javascript

Ok, I'm not a web designer. The only web framework that I've ever learn was tapestry. So when i try to make something and that something is related to web scripting, javascript or css, I'm lost. But i can't let that happened all the time, that is a necessary skill for me to complete my side project. Because of that reasone I'm spending this long weekend to know javascript in Tapestry 5 a little better.

Since my side project is building something with google maps, i find that there are 3 kind of javascript that i need to handel in my page. First external javascript, my google maps library that reside in another webserver. Second my javascript library, javascript code that will be used in many pages. And the third is the javascript for my current page.

Isn't the first and second type can be consider as one ? Unfortunately no, from the perspective of the page they both are external javascript. But currently there are no way to treat the external javascript from google like javascript library in Tapestry 5.

My Story

Okay, since I'm a bit slow picking up new things. So I created my page the old way. I put everything in the template (.tml) file. Luckily it worked, the map from google shows and I've managed to create some polygon above it. Doing this required me to have :

a link to google maps javascript library
<script src="http://maps.google.com/maps?file=api&v=2&sensor=false&key=xxxxx" type="text/javascript"></script>

my own link
<script type="text/javascript" src="${asset:context:js/mapeditor.js}" charset="utf-8"></script>

and my own javascript for current page
<script type="text/javascript">
// tapestry aware vars
var latLng = ${getArea()};
<!-- //
// used for only initialization and invoke method in js lib,
// while other js lib will be added using addScript command in the java file
// lets keep the template clean
var map = null;
var gmarkers = [];
var other_polygon = [];

function initialize() {

if (GBrowserIsCompatible()) {
map = new GMap2(document.getElementById("map_canvas"));
map.setCenter(new GLatLng(-2.1088986592431254, 117.158203125), 5);
showPolygon(latLng);
}

}

// -->
</script>

This worked !

The Other way
Now I'm trying to do it the right way, in this case the Tapestry 5 way. As i understand you can add external library so it will render in the top of your page by using renderSupport addScriptLink method. But unfortunately this method cannot add the external Javascript from google, so i leave the google javascript library in the template file.

While i've managed to move my library to the java file, so the template would look clean. I understand moving the current page to the render support is also possible, but composing the javascript into a string using StringBuffer is a pain :(. And i don't see the real benefit anyway. Because as long as you keep the page javascript clean, only for initialization, its okay to leave it on the template page.

Anyway one of tapestry strong point is to separate coding and UI design. And sometimes the UI designer uncomfortable when they doesn't know the behaviour of the page. If you move all of the script to the java class. And that would break their design tool WYSWYG and also force them to understand the java class.

PS : I understand one more things writing this blog. Writing code in blogger is pain, because you need to < , > sign to the appropriate mark-up your self.

Din

I hate the word "Religious People" !

As if, people, normal common people, is not someone that truly believe their religion. But people that see used their religion when ever they see fit with their causes. Here the law of togetherness apply. Together we are strong, not actually right, but strong enough to create a common wisdom, which eventually passed to generation to come. And the people who truly believe with their religion, will somehow get labeled, pushed away, and become not ordinary.

For me, my religion is very special, very private, i keep it as a treasure and a guide for my self. It is a journey, to understand your self, to understand this world, and to understand your soul, and what it really want. So, you think I'm religious ?

Like i said, i hate that word. But i do believe in my religion, I've done many wrong thing according to my religion, but i still believe it, it managed to guide my live and stopped me from committing a great sin. Like I said, its a journey. And its human to make mistakes, but you need to learn from it.

So what the urges that push me to write this ? Its because in this era, when ever i look. I see how religion is being pushed away from our daily life. As if its a different entity between what we do in day light, at work. And what we do at night in our home.

When you make a business decision, you only based in on your economic or management knowledge. Push away what your soul know and only used your brain, its the logical thing to do right ? And many other thing in our daily life where we made decisions only based on logic. No matter how hard your heart cry or torn to pieces. No wonder so many people felt so lost, depressed, unhappy. Its only our own doing, our own ignorance that we didn't take care of our soul, pushed it away. And now we're just an empty shell of meat, bone and logic.

This is not natural, because human needs happiness, love and peace. And those things isn't reside in your brain. It is entities that attached to your soul. So please, from now on, listen to your soul. And bit by bit nurture it with doing what is right whenever you can. You don't need to change the world, your workplace, or your even your friend. All you have to do is stay strong, don't torture your self with changing everything immediately. Stay in this path, because only you yourself understand what your true happiness is, and one day .... it will come to you.

Some things ....

karena terbangun tengah malam, seperti biasa, browsing-browsing dan nemu beberapa hal. Ada blog teman kantor, yang walaupun isinya tidak terlalu banyak tetapi lumayan detail dan mungkin suatu saat berguna :) Nanti kalau ada waktu mungkin bisa dibaca lebih detail, kehausan akan ilmu pengetahuan memang susah mencari penawarnya :)

seri terbaru dari wakeup project, phase 3, ternyata sudah lumayan banyak. Lagi, kalau ada waktu pengen nonton, soalnya gak bagus juga terkurung di dunia IT yang sempit ini. Got to know what happened to the world, and it has a different point of view than the mainstream media. The world that we live is important to us right ?

Here's the intro to the series.

Dapat kolaborator untuk ngoprek Web dan Android, fiuh... kayak masih banyak waktu aja di luar kantoran :P Yah kita lihat saja, mungkin kalau dipaksa seperti ini bisa break salah satu tembok penghalang diri gw :)

All in all I've just made up this meaningless phrase, 2009 is coming to an end. Its been painful, crazy, mind opening, and surprisingly good year. You'll be missed two thousand nine :)

PS : lupa bilang, akhirnya gw beli HTC Hero, android phone pertama gw di akhir oktober lalu. And I'm loving it :D

Malem Jum'at

Yup ini malam jum'at, setidaknya waktu gw mulai menulis post ini :)

Minggu ini gw ada 2 project yang sedang gw pegang dan lumayan besar. Masih fase2 awal dan belum mulai, tetapi mengumpulkan info di awal, baca docs sana-sini, menjawab pertanyaan2 yang muncul, sangat melelahkan. Karena ada kebetulan project ini ada di dua domain yang berbeda, satu database dan satunya lagi middleware.

Sudah 3 hari pulang malam dan minum pharmaton formula terus untuk doping :P. Akhirnya hari ini gw memutuskan untuk untuk pulang lebih cepat dari kantor, gak baik terus-terusan dipaksa, selagi ada waktu untuk istirahat, manfaatkan sebaik-baiknya. Tapi tentu saja gw pulang kerumah dengan pikiran melanjutkan pekerjaan dari kantor sesuai dengan jam kerja yang masih tersisa.

Selama diperjalanan masih terpikir tentang langkah-langkah, dan task-task yang harus dilaksanakan secara berurut untuk kedua project ini. Sampai di rumah, setelah selesai mandi, teringat bahwa ini hari kamis. Masih berusaha untuk menyeimbangkan diri dengan cara yang sebelumnya gw pikirkan :) Akhirnya gw putuskan untuk berhenti sejenak, masih punya banyak waktu belum ada deadline, 1 jam sudah lebih dari cukup. So i start reading ....

Ternyata tidak beberapa lama setelah mulai membaca, gw ketiduran. Yah mungkin memang tubuh gw sudah saatnya mendapatkan istirahat, yang kemarin-kemarin tertutup-tutupi karena nge-doping :P Gw pikir ini hal yang bagus, karena akhirnya ada bisa yang me-rem pikiran-pikiran yang ada di kepala gw mengenai proyek ini. Ketika gw bersemangat, dan nexus-nexus di otak gw sudah saling terhubung untuk memikirkan proyek-proyek ini, somehow i can't make it stop.

Ketika terbangun gw merasa segar. I think i've beginning to found my balance :)


PS : ternyata rencana untuk melakukannya setiap hari terlalu berat untuk jadwal gw saat ini. Jadinya gw mencoba setidaknya satu kali dalam seminggu untuk menyeimbangkan jiwa gw.

Weird poping noise in ubuntu

Okay ever since i've upgraded to Karmic Koala, i've got this weird poping noise from my laptop. At first i thought because there's somethings wrong with my laptop (I've reinstall to karmik because my disk has crashed). The hardisk has a bad sector, but for now the assumption for my laptop accident is not the hardisk, but the connector from the Mobo to the disk (that causing the weird poping noise). But mind though, that this only an assumption without actually opening up my laptop. If its gonna die, then its gonna die. Its got 6 more month to live anyway.

The annoying thing was, di poping noise is spreading to my audio, it comes and go. So i was thinking maybe its not because the hardware fault, maybe there are 2 problem that causing this weird poping sound when my audio is off.

So i googled and got this solution, you need to edit

/etc/modprobe.d/alsa-base.conf

look for

options snd-hda-intel power_save=10 power_save_controller=N

and change it to

options snd-hda-intel power_save=0 power_save_controller=N

I'm hoping that it would fix both of my problem, kinda wishful thinking though, i settle for one anyway :D

the detail can be seen here :
http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?p=8223592#post8223592

Unbalanced

Gw yakin pengetahuan yang gw miliki saat ini jauh lebih banyak jika dibandingkan dengan satu tahun lalu. Kalau ditarik lebih jauh lagi, dibandingkan dengan 5 tahun lalu saat baru lulus, pastinya perbedaannya amat jauh sekali.

Kalau melihat ke bawah, gw merasa teramat beruntung karena bisa berhasil sejauh ini. Walaupun kalau melihat ke atas, rasanya masih jauh sekali yang ingin gw capai. Seiring begitu banyak pengetahuan baru yang masuk, sedikit demi sedikit gw mulai merasakan keanehan di diri gw. Kehilangan arah , mudah stress, dan tidak gampang untuk bangkit kembali. Semua orang pasti pernah merasakan jatuh dan gagal. Tetapi kemampuan masing-masing orang untuk bangkit kembali berbeda-beda. Disaat ini gw merasa kemampuan gw berada di bagian paling bawah lembah kegagalan.

Ketidakseimbangan waktu untuk pekerjaan dan hal lain dalam hidup, gw rasa menjadi kontributor utama perasaan ini. Sekedar memperkaya diri dengan pengetahuan duniawi gw rasa tidak cukup. Belum lagi ditambah uang yang lebih dari cukup, some sense of power. Terkadang bisa membuat orang lupa akan hakikat alaminya dan mengalami deteorisasi mental.

Alhamdulillah setelah menyadari hal ini, secercah cahaya menyinari pikiran gw. Ide untuk mengatasi pertanyaan, "kalau begitu banyak waktu yang gw luangkan untuk pekerjaan, dan sisanya tercurah untuk waktu sosial dan keluarga". "Bagaimana cara agar gw bisa memberikan waktu bagi jiwa yang sudah lama tidak berkembang ini" ? Ternyata caranya mudah, tetapi penerapannya sepertinya butuh kekuatan hati yang lebih :)

Ketidakadaan waktu sebenarnya hanya ilusi. Kalau kita memanfaatkan waktu dari waktu magrib hingga isya untuk melepaskan diri dari kegiatan duniawi, pekerjaan, internet. Dan menggunakan waktu yang singkat itu untuk membasuhi jiwa yang kekeringan ini dengan sesuatu yang bermakna. Seperti mengaji, membaca buku yang menyentuh ruh kita, atau sekedar berzikir, itu sudah lebih dari cukup untuk menyelamatkan kita dari kegoyahan. Cara ini sebetulnya amat tepat bagi gw, karena selain bisa menyeimbangkan kembali diri gw. Sholat isya yang biasanya kelewatan karena ketiduran, bisa dikerjakan di awal :)

Mudah-mudahan cara ini bisa sukses. Its to shift the unbalance scale to its place.

*saat ini buku yang sering gw baca diantara magrib dan isya adalah sejarah hidup muhammad oleh Dr. Muhammad Husain Haekal, Ph. D*

The karmic koala...

I've been postponing my upgrade from hardy heron to karmic koala for a long time. But because my laptop disk crash, somehow i've been forced to do it anyway :) So here is my experience...

Installation

The installation was easy and fast. Since I'm installing to another hardisk (used windows disk), i just used the default option and wipe the whole content of the disk.

After successfully installing karmic koala, now comes the detail part. I need to restore my data, since my previous hardisk luckily can be mount using ubuntu live cd, i just copy my home folder to a backup directory in the new one.

There's one problem though. Because in my previous installation I've installed Wine emulator, somehow some of my file was copied more than once. From the real path and from the wine path. Since i don't use Wine any longer, i think its better to remove .wine folder before start copying your old file.

Another thing you should notice when copying your old file is, you better do it with sudo. Because some of my file was created by root id, it failed to copy to the backup folder.

Program List - part 1

Before starting to install the programs there's one thing i like to mention. I use to manually modify the apt source list using vi to point to my favorite repository. But now i can do that through the synaptic manager repository settings. Since my favorite repository is available, one click would do the trick instead of copying several lines in the /etc/apt/sources.list :)
(a bit OOT, my favorite repository is dl2.foss-id.web.id, its blazing fast)

Here's the minimum list of program that i need to install after i finished my karmic installation :

- openssh
- pidgin
- rar plugin
- thunderbird mail client
- exaile (yes we can't live without mp3 anyomore :P)
- sun java 6


few of my own notes. Karmic comes with empathy as the default IM client. But it still lack many things, especially proxy option. Thats why i still need to install pidgin. Thunderbird is my default my client (and probably most people), Evolution is simply not my thing.

And for Exaile, i was using Amarok. But since it load many KDE library, i was looking for another alternative. Exaile seems nice enough. But the most important thing i missed from Amarok is the key binding to start and stop music using windows- z through b. If only another player incorpoorate this :(

The plugins

Yes, its not enough to simply install the programs, now everything come as a plugin :) For me it quite straigh forward, all i need is :

- Flash plugins, Flash Blocker Plugins, Ad Block Plus Plugin and Firebug plugins for my Firefox
- gstreamer for playing mp3 and mpeg files


Restoring

Well one thing i like about Firefox and Thunder bird, to restore all of your mail folder, rss, bookmark, etc. All you need to do is copy the old file and overwrite the old configuration. For thunderbird is a simple as this. copy the content of .mozilla-thunderbird from the old to the new one, open thunderbird and see all of your mail back to where it belongs. You can delete the new profile if you like.

For firefox you need to copy .mozilla/firefox/profiles.ini and .mozilla/firefox/[old profile folder] from the old one to the new one. I was using 3.0 and now 3.5 and the transition is very smoth, i even got my previous opened tab and history just like in my old hard disk :D


The UI

The default Karmic UI still feels somewhat clunky for my taste, so its time to tune it a little bit. I like putting all of bar on one place, preferably bottom. You used to able to do this by dragging the bar. But now you need to right click on the bar, choose properties, and choose the orientation to bottom.

The default ubuntu font is an eyesore to my taste, you can download your own font. There are 2 font that i like to mention, first is the sun font, the sans and serif is quite good. But for my karmic i like to try a new font, the droid font.

The droid font was designed for small system, so even in small display it doesn't break or become clunky. It fit perfeclty for my 14" laptop screen. To install it you just need too look for ttf-droid in the synaptic package manager.

After installing the droid font, you need to configure the appearance through System > Preference > Appearance > Fonts. My configuration is :
- Application fonts Droid Sans Japanese 8
- Document fonts Droid Sans Japanese 8
- Desktop fonts Droid Sans Japanese 8
- Window title fonts Droid Sans Bold 8
- Fixed width font Monospace 10

you need to change a little thing on Firefox to give it the finishing touch. Just go through firefox Edit > Preference > Content > Font. My Configuration is :
- Proportional Serif 15
- Serif Serif
- Sans-Serif Sans-Serif
- Monospace monospace 12


and Voila ... My Karmic Desktop is Prettier than my windows desktop :D

with this settings I've managed to continue my work, the other could be updated piece by piece, and here's some of the advanced part i've managed to set on the weekend.

Notification

Karmic comes with a new centralized notification, sometimes it can be very annoying, especially when you're using pidgin. It keeps popping every time my buddy sign on, combined with bad network, its a living hell for working. To solve this you need to configure your pidgin like this. Go to Tool ->Plugins -> 'Libnotify popups' -> Configure Plugin . And then remove 'Buddy signs on' checkbox.


LILO

My laptop is lenovo 3000 N200. Since Hardy Heron I've always get this problem. My DVD isn't detected on my Ubuntu, the funny thing I'm able to use the DVD for installation or using live cd.

It turn out i'm not the only one, lots of people having this kind of problem with this lenovo series. One of the solution is to set ACPI off in boot time, but has the risk of damaging the laptop in the long run. So i choose the other solution replacing grub with lilo as the boot loader.

Installing lilo is quite easy :
- Make sure you have live cd ready just incase anything happens
- Just go through synaptic and download the lilo package.
- Backup your /etc/fstab to lets say ~/backup/fstab.backup.
- Modify the fstab files so lilo would work, since lilo hasn't been updated to recognize UUID for the boot partition, you need to restore it to the old fasion way. For example like this

# /etc/fstab: static file system information.
#
#
proc /proc proc defaults 0 0
/dev/sda1 / ext4 defaults,errors=remount-ro 0 1 <--- the changes
#UUID=ca06fd83-becb-4012-8579-9e65662c9ef0 / ext4 errors=remount-ro 0 1

# /dev/sda2
UUID=948b4626-2f62-40c0-bc92-6ee8b69af42e /media/hda2 reiserfs defaults 0 2


- after that run sudo liloconf, since i didn't use grub anymore i just rewrite the MBR
- and then restart

And finaly my DVD worked and I've managed to backup my work :D

One thing, the default lilo is very slow comparing to grub. It took about 2-3 minute to start while grub could do under 1 minute. There's a way to speed up Lilo boot up time, by using the compact mode. You just need to type this as root,

lilo -c -v

see /etc/lilo.conf and make sure there's line saying compact and its not commented. Then lilo would boot up pretty fast. Comparable with grub, the side note is, this solution is intended for FD, could have some problem with old hardware. But since my laptop is not that old, so far i haven't had a problem with it.

Network Management Applet

Well this is another pain in the ass , but this has been a very long post. So lets leave it as it is and save it for another time :D

- Adeu -

Human Cerberus

I Get It ! What's this annoying feeling that has been hogging me all day. The sudden extra work by the weekend, staying late with some meeting, especially in the special day. Sudden appearance of someone that i though long gone. And finally coming home 9.30 PM. So tired ... mentally. Just wanna scream that today sucks !

But tonight I finally understand what tonight is about. Is about the people that even though I'm being ignorant, I'm being selfish, annoying and some time ... hurt them, but still care about me. Years apart, but they still say hi, and happy birthday!

In other words, tonight is about the people that is most important to me...

-=My Friends=-

Peace....

The Questions

Hm... how to start.

Sebetulnya kejadiannya sudah beberapa bulan yang lalu. Salah seorang junior gw menanyakan masalah terkait agama di milis alumni. Sebetulnya menurut gw milis itu bukan tempat yang tepat untuk menanyakan hal seperti itu.

Yang jelas, pada saat itu gw tidak berniat menjawab pertanyaanya. Karena milis itu yang isinya PHD, master , orang2 cum laude, bagi gw yang orang biasa2 aja, terlalu merepotkan untuk menulis sesuatu yang serius dan mendalam. Apalagi kalau hanya akan dilihat dari satu sisi saja, blind logic.

Kalau dipikir, pertanyaan junior gw itu mungkin mirip sekali dengan pertanyaan gw di masa lampau. Kalau tuhan itu begitu perkasa, kenapa begitu banyak koruptor di negara ini ? Kalau tuhan itu maha penyayang, mengapa begitu banyak suffering di dunia ini ? mengapa anak yang terlantar, teraniaya, tidak bisa makan tampak dimana-mana ? Kalau tuhan itu adil, mengapa jika seseorang berhasil melalui sebuah cobaan, maka seseorang akan diberi cobaan yang jauh lebih berat ? Sampai kapan ? Sampai orang itu tidak sanggup lagi ? Then, what's the point ......

Jawaban yang ada di kepala gw saat itu adalah jawaban yang reaktif. Sarat dengan muatan emosi dan dogma-dogma yang mungkin sudah berulang kali di dengar oleh si penanya. Mungkin... itu juga hal yang membuat kemalasan gw untuk membalas emailnya semakin kuat. kalau akan berujung di hal yang sama, menjadi debat kusir tanpa hasil, its just a waste of time.

The Answer

Kebenaran akan datang, tidak bisa ditebak dari mana arah datangnya. Kebimbangan seseorang yang dilontarkan disebuah milis, mungkin malah mendatangkan lebih banyak manfaat bagi diri gw dari pada si penanya. With that said, ada satu hal yang membuat gw teringat kejadian berbulan-bulan lalu itu. Sebuah kutipan pemahaman dari salah seorang mualaf di kolom republika :

Tuhan itu satu, tapi Dia mempunyai 99 nama yang melambangkan sifat-Nya.Perilaku Tuhan dalam Islam, melambangkan nama-nama itu. Kenapa Allah menghukum, karena dia mempunyai sifat Adil. Namun, Dia juga pemaaf Ghafur juga rahman dan rahim

Yah jawaban yang begitu sederhana, pengetahuan yang sudah lama gw miliki, asmaul husna. Perbedaannya adalah, pemahaman gw mengenai hal ini meningkat sedikit dibanding beberapa bulan lalu.

Hal-hal yang tidak terjelaskan itu, bukan lah sebuah efek dari sebuah perbuatan, atau impact dari suatu kondisi sebab-akibat. Manusia dengan arogannya terlalu sering 'Me-manusia-kan' tuhannya. Berbeda dengan manusia yang terkungkung dalam pilihan, dan terbius oleh pengetahuan. Dia adalah yang maha kuasa.


The advice

Kalau boleh dengan segala keterbatasan yang ada, gw diizinkan menyumbangkan sebuah saran. Seandainya kamu terjebak dalam keadaan seperti ini (semua manusia sepertinya melalui fase ini). Saran gw adalah :

Janganlah bertanya ke sembarang tempat. Dan jika kebutuhan akan jawaban hal itu sudah begitu kritis. Maka mulailah sebuah perjalanan, perjalanan spiritual mencari sebuah jawaban hakiki. Tetapi awal dan dasar perjalanan itu haruslah benar. Mulai dengan dasar keimanan, faith, bahwa yang Islam ajarkan adalah kebenaran. Jangan terjebak dengan logika, membuang segala sesuatu, memulai dari nol dan mencoba membandingkan segala sesuatu dengan metode ilmiah. Karena landasan dari agama dan alam semesta ini adalah keimanan.

Karena jika kamu terjebak, yang terjadi adalah kamu akan menuhankan logika. Membuat agama baru dengan memilih hal yang kamu sukai, mencampurkannya dengan ajaran lain, atau bahkan akhirnya... meniadakan tuhan. Karena tuhan yang tidak masuk akal dan tidak logis, bukanlah tuhan.

Dan jika perjalanan sudah dimulai dengan benar, banyaklah membaca untuk menambah pemahaman bukan pengetahuan mu. Menjadi kritis terhadap penjelasan yang ada dengan memanfaatkan logika untuk menemukan mata rantai selanjutnya untuk memahami ajaran yang begitu indah ini. Jadikan Al-qur'an dan terjemahannya sebagai penunjuk arah, dan keheningan malam untuk melihat makna yang tersirat dibalik tulisan-tulisan itu. All of that, will lead you to the right place ... And eventually, in time, the wisdom will come to you.

When september comes...

Let this be a reminder, i can't sleep well for 2 days because of this next presentation. My stomach acid fluid acting up. They've asked to much at the last minute, so many things have happened in the past week.

From a simple informal meeting, into a large workshop attended by the divisions head. Maybe its better if i don't give a damn with the sudden changes and act according to the previous scenario.

So, when September comes, i will have my answer. I was never meant for this, i only accept it to challenge my self. So when the challenge is over, no need to make the rest of my life miserable. The fortune, may sway me a bit. But here here, when September comes, just say what you really feel.

Its time to say enough !

1 tahun berlalu...

Satu tahun lagi telah berlalu, dan kembali gw berada di posisi yang sama. Kalau dulu gw punya sedikit justifikasi, bahwa gw butuh belajar dunia yang berbeda. 1 tahun memang bisa dibilang terlalu singkat, tetapi 1 tahun ini begitu banyak perubahan yang gw alami. Begitu banyak hal baru yang gw pelajari. Kalau gw gak mengambil keputusan itu 1 tahun lalu. Mungkin wawasan gw bakal tetap sempit dan tidak bisa terbuka sampai 5 tahun kedepan.

Tetapi sekarang pertanyaan yang sama kembali berulang. What do you want to do. Beranikah untuk melepas kemapanan, demi satu hal yang lebih berharga di atas uang.

Kebebasan dan kebahagiaan.

The Arrivals

I've got 4 days holiday from the 21'st, so I've got lots of free time, lots. There were some plan I've made prior to the holiday, but it turn out i was suck by this series.

I've got it from another source, but you can find the complete list at the http://www.rapidshare.com/users/CEG2E or go to the www.wakeupproject.com.

I don't expect people to believe this as the only truth, even me view it with lots of skepticism. But even though i don't expect people to see it as the only truth, I'm praying that they can at least see it as a possibility of the truth.

And this series has given me some insight of some of the action that i want to take :
- Be moderate, not following any extreme view, while preparing my self with knowledge
- Finding more info about new Free Energy and to duplicate it in my own life
- Gradually try to be come less dependent to the system
- Finding way that only good people would lead us, not the people that has been corrupted by the system
- And lastly the more realistic and greatly impact my life. Not continuing my work to the new office. Since if i follow that path, there's only one future that i can see. My self getting deeper-and-deeper drag to the trap of the materialism of this world.

Its time to wake up.

Goodbye

12.01 ...

baru saja selesai menonton ending scrubs, setelah 8 tahun. Jadi teringat waktu terakhir kali nonton friends. I'm always a sucker for this kind of things. Its hard to say goodbye to things that you really love, especially the things that could make you laugh when ever you're feeling down.

Jadi teringat waktu harus mengucapkan perpisahan, sd, smp, sma (one of the hardest, they say high school is the best time of our life), and then college. And after that, its all about work.

Waktu pertama kali harus pindah, memang menakutkan, tetapi itu karena pengalaman pertama. Dan juga begitu banyak kekhawatiran tentang apa sesudah ini, bagaimana masa depan yang menanti di luar sana. Would it be kind ? Or does it gonna make me into somebody i didn't like.

Dan tempat kerja sebelum sekarang, walaupun begitu berat untuk meninggalkan lingkungan yang begitu menyenangkan. Tetapi rasa sedih tidak terlalu terasa, karena gw tahu setiap kali ingin berkunjung, they welcome me anytime, and besides its only across the streets from my current workplace.

Suatu saat gw pasti meninggalkan tempat kerja yang sekarang. Tetapi sudah jelas, saat yang paling berat adalah saat meninggalkan tempat kerja sebelum tempat kerja sebelum ini. Kantor pertama setelah lulus.

Tiga tahun, walaupun teman-teman yang lain sudah lebih dulu pergi dan gw staff terakhir yang berhenti. Tetapi tetap saja, hari terakhir gw ada disana, gw tinggal hingga malam. Mengenang hari-hari yang gw lalui di setiap suduk kantor itu. I even take pictures of the empty office.

So ... gw gak bisa membayangkan bagaimana rasanya harus mengucapkan perpisahan setelah bekerja bersama-sama setelah 8 tahun. But all things have to come to an end, even good things :)

Dan mengingat satu lagi perpisahan yang masih menghantui gw. Dua hari lalu adalah peringatan 5 tahun meninggalnya bokap gw. Damn! untuk menulis satu kalimat itu aja beratnya minta ampun. Entah kenapa tahun ini nyokap gak ngajak ke makam, walaupun sempat disinggung sebentar waktu ngobrol. Mungkin karena ngeliat gw cape dengan kerjaan kantor, adik-adik gw juga sedang gak ada di rumah.

Mereka bilang semua akan berlalu seiring waktu. Gw gak tahu, mungkin 5 tahun bukanlah waktu yang cukup untuk perpisahan seperti ini. Walaupun gw orang yang memiliki harga diri tinggi untuk selalu menyelesaikan masalah sendiri. Nilai yang tertanam dalam diri gw semenjak kecil. Tetapi kehilangan seseorang yang walaupun tidak berkata apa-apa, but you know, if you ask, he will be there.

Satu tonggak yang bisa terlihat dimanapun gw berada. Truly, the future seems so dark and scary after he's gone. I'm so scared of goodbye and getting hurt, so I've been preparing my self to live life like zombies. But all of this reminiscing make me read this blog all over again. And little bit here and there I see changes in me. So even though I'm barely hanging on now.
I promise..... one day, one day ....

I will be alright.

The Credo of ZAFT Chapter 2

The end of civilization

If you review the human history you will see a pattern. From the day that spartacus free the slaves. How's the Greek strive to the world history, and then die and buried in the hands of the Romans.

If you take a look and learn, you will see that they all have gone through a cycle. How they started by struggling under another civilization. Unsatisfied, hungry for power, and lust for changes. Then they broke, they revolt and topple that civilization. Gaining strength and support, shine, make the world blinded, and then suddenly another revolt comes out and topple this civilization to ashes. Then the cycle continues, repeating over and over again.

But this cycles are cruel. Since for each civilization that passes it will leave nothing but broken remains. Because the revolution means that the pass need to be forgotten, replaced, and destroyed. While leaving and preserving means that one day that civilization will influence the people mind, and make their revolution just meaningless.

But the cycle is also funny. Because you can see that for each cycles bring something new, but it also never changed. What changes are only the technology, the limited knowledge of human that they think they understand this world. While the most essential part, humans, remains the same. This is because of the nature of the human life, it is too short. So for each generation the cycle will repeat it self. Molding a new human with a different style of the old values. Learning from the past while fighting for the same basic thing. People will learn, grow, and change the history.

And the most dangerous part of the cycle, is that for each cycle the time span is shortened for each cycle. The day when the Nazi rules, to the Americans, and to the Capitalnation is getting shorter. From the day that human replaces the dinosaurs to roam this world as the dominant species. This path is inevitable. But yet, they struggle.

That is why on this last cycle of civilization, human attracted to 3 main things, The Source of the Origin, Robotics, and Singularity.

Humans are curious about their creation. How come such being exist ? Such a beautiful and intelligent creature that able to surpass nature and overcome more stronger species ? And because of this self loving behavior. Their curiosity rapidly changing into greed, ignorance and power hunger.

While their knowledge of the Source of origin is getting richer. As the cycle of civilization shows, there is a fatal flaw that human is bestowed. The lifespan of a human is to short. While knowledge can be pass through to the next generation. But each human is unique, each has it own genetic characteristic. That is why human can keep on revolting, but that is also why a certain genetic brilliance, could disappear for ever from the course of history.

And that bring us to the second thing humans eager to grasp, Singularity. The though that human and machine can be put together into one and live, is so intoxicated. From wooden limb, bionic arms, into artificial organs. This will prolong the human life into certain extent, a desperate cry for time.

But eventually the ultimate goal is, to decapitate human from its organic body, leaving only the brain to be supported by mechanical replaceable part. Yet, even this ultimate goal is not enough. Since this goal will also have an expiration date. Human eventually will seek one final hope, to be come one with the machine leaving everything and roams around just as a conciseness that live behind bits and chips. The question is, will this being still be human, or is it just a ghost of human selfishness ?

And thus brought us to the last greed of human dreams, Robotics. As human gains knowledge of the Source of Origins, and given the needed time by singularity, the human Ego will finally has it manifestation. To be able to imitate the source of origin and master the number one skill this universe, creation.

From creating soulless being that imitate their behavior, progressing through to the more independent and intelligent decision making automaton. Of course human wont stop, since the holy grail of creation. Is to make a 'living being' something that has its the ability to change course of its predestined history. And thus the Artificial Intelligence would be powerful enough to attain freedom.

The great satisfaction for a creator is to see its creation, achieving the goals they setup or even over it. That is why singularity is needed, to watch over the growth of this underling that they so loved through decades and millennium. Residing as a concise that would interfere only at certain critical times, and would be known as the one.

As you take look back through the cycle, you can see that this whole thing take it course as a line. Creating a circle, smaller-smaller-and-smaller until it will reach a single point. The point where it can not continue the line to form another circle. That time is the time when human greatest dreams and greed is achieved. The time when the civilization that have been build by humans, will come to and end.

The Credo of ZAFT : Chapter 1

Anger is contagious, it can spread like wild fire, but cannot be put out with a simple water.

For an angry people its easy to influence other. A smiling person , comes to an unhappy person. Can be converted easily with a single yell, or one hurtful word. The converted one then will spread it hatred to others making more and more angry people.

Two angry people would make one happy people crazy. But two happy people wouldn't make an angry people contempt. Sometimes it would only make it worse.

To counter this, happy people need to find their sanctuary. A place where they are free from all of the negative thoughts. Have support from other happy people. And finally creating a bond , a barrier in a location where their happiness can be preserved. This places or locations would definitely survived even among the crowds of angry people.

For angry people to make sure this things wouldn't grow, they need to do two things. First they need to "divide", and the second one is they need to "Not let Them Rest". One things that they need to keep in mind. Is that hatred is very contagious and effective. Its easy and simple to spread it. But one good night sleep will have a way to nullify that effect.

I'm saying this, because i will not take part in this craziness. I'm not a demon nor a saint. I'm not the ares of this world nor the savior. Cause I'm only one, and this is only the beginning.

Of a Credo that certainly would make a Change.

The Credo of ZAFT

There is something really wrong with this world.

If you look around there is to much suffering in this world. There's war, famine, sickness, terrorism, discrimination, capitalism and many more. Even when you don't look at the extreme, you can find many thing in your daily life that will show this.

When you go to work you will curse the traffic all the way to your office, the damn heat. The crazy and arrogant people on the road. And after you arrive at the office, you have to struggle with parking lot. Not to mention THE WORK! The are times when your boss get angry at you, you feel like your face has been stomped by a horse, and your head is boiled in a 100 degree Celsius of water.

Some people would say that not all day would be like that. There are days when you get happy, get rewarded for your work and persistence. And for you to have days like that you need to struggle, to fight, and work hard. Just ignore the anger and other terrible feelings that you experience, treat them as they don't exist, until that happy day arrives. But truly... you don't believe that, right ?

So lets say a happy day arrives. A man has become a dad, his wives just deliver a boy. That would be a very happy day for him right ? But does he really truly happy all day long. After the birth, he has to handle the administration. Check on the baby, check on his wives, make sure all of the preparation for the baby is done. Handle the food, talk with the doctor and the nurses about the baby condition.

And things will even get worse after that day. He has to settle the bill, sleep and bath at the hospital, and if as an example , there's a critical work that he's doing. He will definitely leave it for the sake of his wives and child. But although his body is there, part of his mind would still think about the work. Either ignoring it completely, that will make his conscious feel guilty when he get back. Or thinking about it that makes his mind just go crazy.

But people would say that it would pay off seeing the smile in his child face. That's probably true... for that day, and the day after that.

What about people in love ? They say it feels like the world only belongs to them. They could talk and cuddle for hours, it's their happiest moment in life. But what about after that ? They would feel miserable for the hours that they couldn't meet with each other. Angry if their partner didn't understand about the thing that he/she wanted, but didn't say anything about it. Get Mad after seeing his/her partner seems more happy with someone else, even though its a child hood or long lost friend ?

Baby becomes annoying child. Kids grow up and yell at their parent. Teenager thinks they are the king and queens of the world, thinks they know everything and wouldn't abide the rules.

Partner would betray his friends. Lovers often separates over tiny agreement. Soldier would be sacrificed by their leaders for the sake of politics. Mother would be left by their children. Father will fight with his kids. And children would regret the day they hurt their parent feelings.

People dies, people left, and people are ignorant and irresponsible.

If you think that this only happened to you, ordinary people. You should look at your leader. They are frustrated because they didn't have enough power to change this world. To make a better environment for their children and to serve their country. For some people they regret because they couldn't corrupt more.

And one of the major example is your religious leader. This is not an ordinary person. This is a person that is chosen, he/she is strong enough with his believes to tackle all of the problem in the world. But even them , if you see it with a clear eyes. You would see how angry they are, trying to change everything around. Forcing what they believed, argue, yelling, but still the world won't budge. And peoples as the earth , wont change.

So... if you take a deep breath, clear your head, and try counting the times when people are truly happy. Comparing it to the time when they are not, even multiply the happy times by two. Because they say happiness is so much better than other feelings. Then you will see one thing that I witness this day,




THERE IS NOT A PLACE EXIST IN THIS WORLD, FOR A TRULY HAPPY PEOPLE BELONG !

... and that's just sad, this world is a very sad world.

Generasi Patah Hati

3 masa kami menanti
harapan di awal reformasi
suara-suara dari harapan yang telah kembali
saat itu, kami percaya bahwa kami memiliki arti

tetapi di tahun ini,
kami dibuat patah hati...

bukan hasil janji,
tapi basa-basi yang kami terima
bukan perbaikan,
tapi korupsi intelejensi yang kami terima

kami pintar dan perduli,
jadi jangan sajikan kami dagelan basi dan idiocrazy

kami mohon, kembalikan negara kami
negara yang cantik, anggun, damai dan dapat kami cintai
tolong, jangan buat kami jadi tidak peduli
dan meninggalkan negara ini seorang diri


~MatilahKalianParaKeparat!!!

BFR Update 0.84

I build this to help me organize my downloads. Since I'm lazy usually arrange my download folder after a month. But to be hones the only feature i use is the remove, to help me moving unwanted id from my downloads. The code and the UI is a mess, its not enough to fix it with the little free time that i have. Maybe someday i would make version 2 that is much better.

But at least now the move and mapping feature is working. The previous bug was major, since the wrong mapping will stop BFR from moving the files to its folder. And i add the reset button just in case it still happened (you can also add the original xml files).

Well you can download it from here .

Some Dream

Masih inget keinginan tiba-tiba gw untuk masuk departemen pertanian. Ternyata ide itu masih bersemayam di antara relung-relung pikiran gw. Kalau seandainya beneran masuk dan mendapatkan posisi yang gw inginkan. Rencana 4 tahun gw adalah :


Tahun pertama :
- membuat aplikasi yang mendata pergerakan harga bahan pertanian
- membuat aplikasi logistik, sehingga pergerakan produk pertanian bisa di track. Mulai dari petani, distributor, pembeli dan kalo bisa sampai ke pengguna.
- aplikasi untuk mentrack distribusi pupuk
- membuat infrastruktur IT di setiap cabang yang terhubung dengan database pusat.

Tahun kedua :
- menghubungkan koperasi-koperasi pertanian dengan jaringan DepTan. Para petani itu tidak harus melek IT, tapi DepTan harus bisa mendukung mereka dengan IT yang paling canggih. Sekaligus memberikan keuntungan bagi mereka yang menjual hasil pertaniannya ke koperasi.
- keliling indonesia untuk melihat pertaninan di indonesia dan bagaimana untuk bisa lebih membantu mereka dengan IT
- membuat aplikasi database plasma nutfah dan riset paper tentang kekayaan alam di indonesia
- Knowledge base tentang pertanian, hama dan cuaca

Tahun ketiga :
- memindahkan aplikasi2 yang ada di DepTan ke arah SOA yang bisa di akses oleh departemen lain / dijual jika perlu
- mempersiapkan datawarehouse bagi data2 yang telah dikumpulkan 2 tahun ini
- Smart card access bagi para petani yang sudah melek IT, penyuluhan2 ke desa2 tentang IT

Tahun keempat :
- aplikasi intelejen yang mengkorelasikan iklim dengan hasil panen
- aplikasi2 penunjang riset
- geo map pertanian indonesia

Ini semua ingin gw buat karena menurut gw aset utama yang dimiliki negara ini dan tidak bisa ditiru negara maju manapun , adalah tanah dan air-nya. Oleh karena itu , gw ingin memajukannya sebagai mana vietnam berhasil menjadi pengekspor beras terbesar didunia. Dan karena gw hanya mengerti IT, maka satu-satunya cara untuk melakukannya adalah dengan menjadi pendukung terbaik dunia pertanian indonesia.

Nah, andai saja bapak Anton membaca blog ini, mungkin saja impian gw ini terwujud :D

QOTD: Life

Here's a quote from the legendary man him self :

"I learned a lot from these bleak years too. I learned that in life, you have to prove your self everyday, show what you're worth."

- Paolo Maldini -

So that is what i need to do, to prove my self everyday, showing my worth....

Some idea

Entah kenapa tadi pas jum'atan kepikiran. Tiba-tiba pengen banget masuk ke Departemen Pertanian. Pengen membantu menjadikan pertanian indonesia maju, dengan bikin divisi IT tercanggih dengan skill dan knowledge opensource yang gw miliki saat ini.

Tapi amat bergantung sama siapa menterinya di next election dan apakah dia punya visi yang sama :) If all of the stars alligned it possible for me to abandoned this career path and start a new. Simply because it something i really-really want.

Tapi gak tahu sekedar keinginan semata atau bisa jadi kenyataan :P

What i want

2 bulan dan 11 hari semenjak post terakhir gw. Lebih suka ngeplurk dengan karma 95.16 karena gak perlu mikir lama2 untuk nulis. Tetapi ada beberapa hal yang gak bisa ditulis disana :P

kerja di corporate dengan global environment memang melelahkan, tetapi tetap lebih baik dibanding perusahaan temen gw yang hobby nyuruh lembur. Bahkan sabtu,minggu, senin. Padahal senin itu tanggal merah. Poor him :P

Bukannya kerja ditempat ini tidak menyenangkan, banyak hal-hal yang membuka wawasan gw. Bagaimana mereka menuntut banyak, tetapi benar-benar menghargai orang-orang yang berprestasi. Tapi yang paling melelahkan bagi gw adalah gw gak bisa fokus di satu produk aja. Berlawan banget dengan diri gw yang biasanya yang cenderung mendalami satu hal sementara ignorant terhadap yang lain2. Bukan sombong, tetapi memang keterbatasan kapasitas otak dalam belajar :P I'm no Genious :P

Karena ini gw mulai berpikir mungkin gak sih dapat lingkungan kerja dimana gw bisa membuat apa yang ingin gw buat , dengan cara yang gw inginkan. I know everything boils down to money. Sepertinya satu2nya cara hanyalah dengan membuat perusahaan sendiri. I guess I've started to get bored with this world. Nothing interest me anymore.

why

Every body seems to be moving on with their live, why can't I ?

I need to get out more.

~DamnThisInsomania