Inheritance

My 1'st post in 2010, its 12:13 AM right now in my place.

I never liked inheritance, i have a subtle attitude of rejecting everything that was given time. I didn't consciously do it, with intention of disrespect or dissing someone. It just something i do, sometimes its so subtle that people wouldn't notice. But as time goes by they would wonders why i rarely accept things from them.

Maybe because I'm used of not having anything. Getting used working hard to get the things that i wanted. As i grew up i just only have one track mind, get the things that i want, and getting it with my own way. And that is what growing up means to me.

New years doesn't mean much to me. For me, seeing from flow of time perspective, it just another day passes by. If the day changes also reset the month and year counter. In essence its the same flow of time like everyday occurrence.

So celebrating this year new years was never in my schedule. I rather study something or watch a movie, enjoying my rare peaceful time. So when a neighbor asking me to come out and enjoy some barbecue with them, i politely decline. A bit a shame, there's nothing wrong with their invitation, and socializing with other people would be good. It just like what i said at the beginning. This social interaction is an inheritance from my parents. Don't get me wrong as a good kid, i will treasure and cherish what my parents had. But in truth , i would never feel it as mine. So i do what i must do, but sometimes rejecting things that was not my obligation.

Yes, I'm acting like an ass, a total jerk. But home always means one thing to me. A thing that makes it different from any other place in the world. Home is a place where no matter how selfish, introvert, egoist, and stubborn I am, it will always has a place for me. A place to be my self without thinking about anything else.